


Staring

by hurtsyfiction



Category: Hurts (Band), Hurts (UK Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-30
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2018-04-23 16:05:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4883125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hurtsyfiction/pseuds/hurtsyfiction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Multi-chapter fanfiction about unrequited love. Or isn't it?...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

They just had had an amazing gig in their hometown, Manchester. Adam was currently sitting on a couch in their bus being busy with his phone doing whatever when he suddenly heard the bus door open and looked up, seeing Theo standing there.

He sent him a small smile, getting one in return from the singer.

Adam wondered what his mate was already doing here since their crew was still inside the venue, talking to fans, drinking, taking a bath or just whatever. He didn’t ask him about it though and just focused on his phone again, hopefully avoiding the singer asking him the same.

Adam really wasn’t in the mood for any more interactions than strictly necessary today. He did go outside for a few minutes to meet some fans after the show though because they weren’t anyhow responsible that he didn’t feel that good and he loved seeing their happy faces when he talked to them.

Anyway, apparently the reason for his mood had joined him just seconds ago. It wasn’t that he didn’t get along with Theo or that they had had an argument or something. Rather the guitarist’s feelings going mental whenever the other man was near.

It hasn’t always been like that. Or at least Adam never noticed it before. At first he was kind of confused when his heart started pumping madly in his chest when the other came close to him on stage during their moment in “Evelyn”. It took him a while to figure out that it was more than friendship that he felt for the singer.

At first he thought it was maybe just a little crush that would go away sooner or later but it turned out otherwise since all his attempts in staying calm when the singer just accidentally touched him briefly or even worse hugged him, failed and he felt his heart racing madly in his chest.

However, he knew that for a couple of weeks now but surely wasn’t going to tell anyone. Adam didn’t like to talk about private things or feelings and for sure not about his newly discovered love for a man who happened to be his best friend and band mate.

What was even worse though, was the fact that he knew that he would never have a chance of coming together with Theo. Theo wasn’t gay. He didn’t fancy guys. Well, he mentioned something about being “potentially bicurious” years ago, but in fact Adam never saw him making out with a guy or something like that.

It wasn’t as if he himself ever had a thing with a man or that he would consider himself as gay now. There was just something special about Theo. Sure, they were best friend for years and he had to admit that the singer was in fact very handsome, but there was something else which he couldn’t quite tell, what it was.

However, luckily the singer didn’t say anything. At least until now. 

Theo walked over to him and slumped down on the couch Adam was sitting on. He lay down, taking up the whole couch and rested his head on the guitarist’s lap.

The pianist chuckled nervously and forced himself to stay calm. 

“What are you doing idiot? I’m not a pillow.” 

“Naah.”, the singer answered, “You’re much more comfy.”

Adam smiled at that, feeling his heartbeat quicken and quickly turned his attention to his phone once again. He heard his friend yawn and looked down at him, seeing his eyes closed. 

“Tired?”, he asked. 

“Yeah. I didn’t get much sleep since we landed yesterday.”, the singer answered.

“You could just go to the bunks and get some sleep, you know.” 

“Sure I could. But I’ll rather sleep here.” 

“What makes you think I'll let you?”, the guitarist mocked.

The singer yawned again before he answered “Because you’re nice and wouldn’t throw me off the couch.” 

The guitarist shrugged. 

“Apparently a bit too nice sometimes.”, he mumbled. 

He felt Theo shift and trying to find a good position to sleep in.

After a few moments the singer found a very comfortable position and Adam heard the other’s breath evening out. He put his phone away again and just looked down at his sleeping mate.

He couldn’t do this very often since it would be awkward if the other caught him staring. How should he explain that? But now that his mate was sleeping he took the chance.

He took in all the other’s features. His long eyelashes, his nose, his lips. The pianist‘s eyes stopped at the latter, taking a close look and biting his lower lip. They looked so soft and rosy. He was almost tempted to just lean down and close the short distance between them, briefly touching the other’s lips and get a little taste of them.

He was pulled out of his thoughts though, when Theo’s voice was suddenly heard.

“Whatcha looking at?”, the singer mused. 

Adam’s eyes darted up to Theo‘s that were focused on him, his left eyebrow risen. He quickly looked away at that, avoiding eye contact with his friend.

Fuck. How long did he know Adam was staring? Was he even asleep like the pianist thought?

The guitarist felt his cheeks and ears heat up. He cleared his throat before he answered. 

“Nothing. I was just... uh... thinking.”, the guitarist replied embarrassed, quickly grabbed his phone again and acted busy, hoping the other would just shut up.

But of course he didn’t. 

“Thinking? About what? Kissing me?”, Theo asked, looking up at him with a smug grin on his face. 

“What?! No!”, the guitarist shrieked, shaking his head repeatedly.

By now Theo had sat up and moved to sit besides his mate. He sat so close to the other that their bodies touched from their thighs up to their shoulders. Adam already felt very uncomfortable because of this whole “getting caught staring” thing but having Theo so close now made it even worse.

Apparently the singer still made the situation even more uncomfortable for the poor pianist when he put his left hand on his friend’s thigh, stroking it gently.

The singer moved his head closer to Adam’s, looking at him intensely. 

“So, what were you thinking ’bout then?”, he whispered into the other’s ear.

Adam felt his face heat up again. He was sure that his head was as red as a tomato by now and perfectly visible for the singer, even in the dim light of the bus.

The only thing that came to his mind was to quickly get out of this embarrassing situation, so he stood up in a flash and sat down on the couch opposites the one Theo was sitting on.

Once again, of course the singer wouldn’t let Adam get away that easily, so he stood up as well and sat besides the guitarist once more.

The pianist was already busy staring at his phone again.

“What are you doing?”, Theo asked, leaning over to catch a glimpse on Adam’s phone.

“Nothing. Just checking instagram.”, the guitarist answered, forcing himself to sound calm and scrolled through some random pictures, not looking at the singer once.

He stopped breathing when he suddenly felt a pair of soft lips pressed on his left cheek, lingering there for a moment until the singer retreated again and Adam let out the breath he was holding, making the singer chuckle.

“You liked that?”, Theo asked smiling, although he knew the answer perfectly well after seeing Adam’s reaction but of course the other would never admit that to his face.

As Theo wanted to lean in again, giving him another kiss on the cheek, his mate jumped up in a flash, almost running upstairs to the bunks, hearing the singer chuckle behind him.

This fucking teaser. Drunk idiot. Fucking wanker. What was he even thinking? Did he like to make Adam look like an idiot or why was he doing that? He didn’t know about his feelings for him, did he? Shit.

Adam quickly closed the door to the bunks behind him and started cursing at himself.

“Fucking fuck.” 

He crossed his hands behind his head and covered his face, thinking about what he should do.

Suddenly the door opened again and, shit, Theo was standing there.

As the singer came closer to Adam, the guitarist walked backwards until his back hit the wall and he couldn’t escape anymore.

Theo came closer and closer until he was standing right in front of Adam, licking his lips seductively.

“Theo, please. Stop it.”, Adam mumbled embarrassed and looked down at the floor.

As Theo wanted to get even closer, the pianist put his hands on the other‘s shoulders, to keep him at distance. 

“Oh c’mon. Don’t be so shy.”, the singer purred, placing his hands on the other’s hips and pulling him closer to himself, making Adam’s arms go weak, still holding onto Theo though.

“Go ahead and kiss me. I know you want to.”, he smiled. 

“I don’t mind.”, the singer added and started stroking the others hips with his thumbs.

“No Theo! You’re fucking pissed!”

Theo smiled and shrugged, “Just a bit tipsy. Now come on.”

“What the fuck Theo? I’m not gay!”, Adam exclaimed.

“Well, as far as I know neither am I, but there’s nothing gay about that.”

The pianist was close to giving in and just grab the others face and kiss him passionately if it wasn’t for his mate to be drunk as hell and the voice in his head shouting at him not to be stupid and let his feelings ruin everything.

“Just let go of me.”, Adam whined, his arms trying to push Theo away from him.

“Oh c’mon. I clearly saw you staring at my lips down there and who does that unless they want to kiss you? So stop all this whining and just go ahead and kiss me!”

“No, Theo! Don’t you fucking get it? I’m not going to kiss my drunk best friend! This would be so awkward tomorrow!”

“So you’re saying you do want to kiss me but not when I’m drunk?”

“Back off!”

“No Adam. Is that what you’re saying? Yes or no?”

“Yes and now let me go!”, the pianist gave back angrily without thinking.

“Well, in that case...”, the singer murmured and moved his head closer to his friend’s.

“Theo.”, Adam mumbled, meaning for it to come out as a warning but his voice sounded way too weak.

As a last option, the guitarist turned his head to the side, making Theo’s lips kiss his cheek instead of his mouth.

He heard his friend chuckle before he felt the other‘s hands grab his head and made him face his friend again.

At that sight Adam held his breath. He was looking into two dark eyes. There was only a thin rim of that whisky brown colour visible around the other‘s dilated pupils.

The singer slowly moved closer again and brushed his own lips against the pianist’s. It was just a slight touch yet, not really a kiss. But Adam couldn’t hold back anymore and instead wrapped his arms around the others neck and kissed him as he wanted to do the whole time.

He ignored everything else, the voice in his head, the fact that his best friend, whom he was kissing, was totally pissed.

Adam nibbled on the others lower lip before he licked it and felt Theo immediately open his mouth to him. He thrusted his tongue into the others mouth and let out a silent moan when his tongue touched Theo’s.

He felt Theo smile into the kiss and the singer‘s hands wandered from his face down to Adam‘s waist, encircling him. One of Adam’s hands moved to Theo’s hair, slightly tugging on it.

“Good boy.”, the singer mumbled against the others lips when they eventually had to break the kiss in order to get some much needed air.

At that the guitarist fully realised what he had just done. His eyes widened in shock and embarrassment. He felt his face heat up once again and quickly let go of the singer.

He straightened his shirt and pushed past the other without saying anything.

What had he done? He knew his friend happened to have stupid ideas when he was drunk and he was angry at Theo for that but he hated himself for being so weak and not having the strength to keep him at distance.

He ran down the stairs to the lounge and out of the bus and almost collided with Paul when he stormed outside. “Oi! Watch it!” But Adam didn’t reply. He just wanted to get away. Away from this embarrassing situation. Away from Theo, whom he loved more than anything but also hated right now.

He had no idea where he wanted to go but since he spent his whole life in this city, he would at least not get lost.

After some minutes of pointless walking he found a small park, where he had been a few times with some friends, when they were still unemployed. He liked it there and so he chose to sit down on a bench.

There was no one else around. No people with their dogs, no late night walkers, no drunkards. No one. He was glad to be alone and have some time to think.

Adam knew that he had to go back to the bus and face Theo again at some point but he had no idea how he could do that.

After a while of sitting in the park, he started to get a little cold. He chose to ignore it since he wasn’t ready to get back just yet. He still had different scenarios of how the other would react playing in his head. One worse than the other.

The pianist had no idea how long he was sitting there in the cold night air when suddenly his phone vibrated. He took it out of his pocket and saw the singer’s name flash up on the screen. With a sigh he pressed the red button and put it back into his pocket.

A few minutes later it started vibrating again. The pianist pulled his phone out again. This time he had a message. Also from Theo. He opened it and it read

From Theo, 23:57  
U angry?

Adam huffed at this. Of course he was angry! Does this drunk idiot not get anything? He chose not to reply and put his phone back into his pocket.

Soon he got some more messages though.

From Theo, 00:01  
Sorry

From Theo, 00:09  
Can we talk?

From Theo, 00:25  
The bus is leaving in 10.

Adam sighed and stood up. He had ignored the messages and delayed his going back to the bus for as long as possible but now he eventually had to walk back. He didn’t want the others to wait just because he and Theo screwed up.

The guitarist started walking back into the direction he came from and it wasn’t too long until he arrived at the bus.

As he stepped inside, their crew and Theo were sitting in the lounge. Their talking stopped immediately after they noticed the pianist.

He didn’t say anything and quickly went up to the bunks.

Adam didn’t even bother to undress himself and just laid into his bunk, fully clothed. He closed the curtain and pulled the duvet over himself.

It didn’t take long until he heard the door open and he had a pretty good idea who it was. Damn. He heard quiet steps coming closer and quickly chose to close his eyes as he heard the curtain being pulled back.

“Hey”, a familiar voice said softly. “Come on open your eyes, I know you’re not asleep.”

With a sigh, Adam opened his eyes and stared into the face of his best friend, who was kneeling in front of his bunk.

“Leave me alone.”, he grumbled.

“No. We need to talk.”

The pianist sighed. “What do you wanna talk about?”

“Why did you storm off the bus before?”

“Well, why do you think Sherlock?”, Adam gave back, annoyed by Theo’s obliviousness.

The singer shrugged. 

“I don’t know. Usually people don’t run away from me, after I kiss-”

“Sshhh! Shut up, will ya? I don’t want everyone to know.”, Adam interrupted his friend, quickly looking towards the door and checking if there were any signs of nosy crew members, relieved when he didn’t see any.

“That we kissed?”, Theo asked, his drunken mind not quite understanding why his friend panicked.

“Yes for fuck’s sake and now keep it down.”

“But you liked it, didn’t you?”, the singer asked, with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

Adam felt his face blush again and immediately avoided eye contact with the other.

He heard his friend chuckle. 

“Me too.”, Theo admitted and Adam’s head flashed up, looking at the other man surprised.

“What?”, he asked disbelievingly.

Theo shrugged. “You’re quite a good kisser.”

The pianist didn’t believe what he just heard and felt his cheeks heat up again.

“You’re blushing a lot today.”, the other smiled.

Adam groaned and pulled the duvet over his head, hiding his face from his mate. The singer reached out a hand and pulled the duvet off of Adam’s head, sending him a sweet smile.

Before Theo could say anything though, they heard someone coming up the stairs. 

“We’ll talk tomorrow, ok? In private.”, Theo whispered. 

The pianist nodded, his face still flushed.

His friend moved to stand up, wanting to leave but as he was about to walk to the half open door, he heard Paul curse from the other side, “Oh damn I forgot my bloody phone.” 

And their drummer walked downstairs again.

Suddenly an idea popped up in Theo‘s head and he went back to the pianist’s bunk, kneeled down again, quickly leaned in and pecked him on the lips.

“Good night”, he whispered before finally standing up and leaving the bunk area, closing the door behind him.

Adam laid in his bunk, his mouth slightly agape, still completely stunned by the singer’s words and mostly his last action. Suddenly a bright smile stole itself on his features and he sighed happily.

Well, this didn’t turn out quite as horrible as he thought it would when he stormed off the bus earlier. Maybe there was a chance for him to get together with the singer after all. It didn’t seem to be as impossible as he thought judging by the singer’s words but he would have to wait until the morning when they were in their hotel and could talk properly.

He just hoped the singer‘s mind wouldn’t change completely once he was sober again. But for now he chose to ignore any doubts and dozed of happily.


	2. Chapter 2

“God, I knew this was stupid. Why am I such a damn idiot? I don’t know what the fuck was wrong with you- Well, I actually do. You were fucking pissed and somehow thought it was fun to fuck with my feelings and now you don’t even remember a thing.”, he spat at the other.

“Whoa there calm down, Adam. What do you mean with that? What did I do?”, Theo asked carefully.

“What you did?!”, Adam asked disbelievingly, anger clear in his voice. “You made me kiss you, you bloody idiot. That’s what you did.”, the guitarist almost shouted.

“What? You kissed me? Like, for real?”, Theo uttered confused.

“Now don’t act so innocent. This was all your fault. If it wasn’t for you I would’ve never ever done that!”, Adam replied.

“Uh okay but was it that bad? I mea-”

“No!”, Adam groaned annoyed, interrupting his friend. “You don’t fucking get it.”

“What do I not get? I’m sorry but I really don’t know what the big deal is. We were drunk and kissed, so what? It was a one-time thing and I’m pretty sure you’ve had some worse kisses in your life.“

“Oh god. It’s not about the fucking kiss itself.”, the guitarist groaned.

“So you enjoyed it.”, Theo smirked, not aware that this made the other even angrier.

“Jesus fucking Christ! You just don’t get it!”, Adam shouted, close to exploding. 

How could the singer be so damn ignorant? Didn’t he know anything? Did he really remember nothing from the night before?

“Then tell me, please.”, the younger man begged, needing to know why his friend was flipping because of a little kiss.

Adam looked at his friend for a moment. Debating if he should just tell the other everything. For the singer it was just a one-time thing. Nothing more than some stupid action of a drunkard. He should’ve known. But yesterday everything seemed so great. It seemed as if his friend had feelings for him too. Today all of that was already forgotten though. It almost appeared as if he had only dreamed it. Well, he probably did. Kind of. He interpreted way too much into it. Stupid.

“You don’t understand.”, Adam mumbled, his eyes glistening.

He hurried over to the door and was about to leave, his right hand coming up to his hair, pulling on it, trying to hold back his tears. 

“Adam”, Theo said, quickly running over to his friend and grabbing the other’s wrist to keep him from leaving. 

“I’m sorry mate. Just please talk to me.”, the singer pleaded, holding on tightly to the pianist’s hand, not intending on letting him go before he got to the bottom of this.

The guitarist looked down at Theo’s hand holding on to his’, and felt a sting in his chest, before he eventually turned to face his mate. His eyelids blinked furiously, not wanting his friend to see him cry. He sighed and took a shaky breath, before he looked right at Theo as he started talking. 

“For you, it was just some stupid mistake or something but not for me. I wasn’t fucking pissed as you. I knew perfectly well what I was doing and I wanted it to happen. But I would’ve never done it, if it wasn’t for you pushing me into it.”

Upon hearing that, the singer stared at his friend in shock, not able to say anything for a while. His mouth opened in order to say something but closed again as no words seemed to come out.

“Adam… You don’t have feelings for me, do you?”, Theo eventually asked just above a whisper.

The guitarist couldn’t bring himself to answer, instead he felt a single tear running down his cheek.

“Oh god.”, Theo mumbled, his free hand coming up to his mouth and running through his hair afterwards. 

“Come here”, he said, pulling the other close into an awkward hug, not quite knowing how to react to this new information.

Adam didn’t want to be that close to his friend right now but at the same time he was glad for the offered comfort, and therefore let himself being pulled into Theo’s hug. He eventually brought his hands up and lazily hugged the other back, burying his face in the singer’s shoulder, as he couldn’t hold back his tears anymore.

Theo started running his hand up and down on the other’s back in a soothing manner. They just stood there for a while in silence, until the singer eventually broke it. 

“I’m not worth you crying over me, Adam. You’ll sooner or later find someone and forget about me. I’m sure there’s someone waiting for you out there. Someone you’ll be happy with. I mean, I love you. I really do. But I’m not in love with you, you know?”, he mumbled, holding the pianist close. 

He felt a knot appear in his throat upon hearing the other sob. 

“I’m so sorry.”, Theo whispered, feeling his friend trembling in his arms.

+++

What was he even thinking? How could he just assume for one second that this could possibly work? Theo just happened to have stupid ideas when he was drunk and this thing on the bus was just another one of those.

And as if it wasn’t already bad enough that the other now knew about his feelings, he had also presented himself as a pitiable weak wimp with crying in his friend’s arms. Great. Could this whole thing actually get worse?

The guitarist was just glad for the break that was soon to come. They had to play two more shows until the tour was over. He’d try to avoid the other whenever possible. He could do that. Three days and they were done.

Theo would travel to LA again and meet up with some friends of his’, as he always did and he himself would stay in cold and rainy England. Usually Adam would be jealous then but not this time. This time he was glad to have some distance between them. Maybe he could figure everything out in the meantime before they had to meet again. Get his head clean and perhaps even find out that it wasn’t actual love that he felt towards his friend.

+++

They had landed at London Heathrow a few minutes ago. Adam hadn’t said a word to him on the flight nor any other time since their conversation in the hotel the other day. The guitarist had avoided him whenever possible after that. The only time he actually couldn’t escape was on stage. Even though he did quite avoid him there too. He didn’t come over when he was playing the guitar but rather stayed at his side of the stage for the whole show. Not once did he look at him although Theo tried to make eye contact several times. When the gig was over, Adam was the first to leave the stage. He hurried to the dressing room and had mostly already left the room before the singer even appeared. 

Theo tried to talk to him a few times but gave up eventually, as the other would leave immediately whenever he came too close. The singer understood why his friend avoided him. He had fucked up badly. Maybe some time for themselves would be good for both of them.

However, they walked out of the airport, silently. Side by side. As they arrived outside, they stopped up. The goodbye was rather cold though. Usually they would hug and wish each other a good time or something but this time neither of them said a word. 

Theo would’ve wanted to say something but he felt a huge lump in his throat upon looking into the other’s reddened and sleep-deprived face. Adam sent his friend a quick glance, probably debating whether to say something or not. He decided for the latter though and therefore quickly turned around and hurried to the cabs.

The singer looked after him until he disappeared in one of the black cars. He sighed, took his suitcase and walked into the opposite direction.

+++

Theo flew with Burns to LA and met up with Calvin and two of the latter’s friends, which he had seen once or twice before at clubs, at the airport in Los Angeles. The men put their luggage into the trunk of Calvin’s car and drove to the DJ’s home.

The following days were mostly spent on the beach or on a yacht on the sea at daytime and in some fancy and expensive clubs at night. Calvin had a few gigs here and there and so the whole crew accompanied him and partied hard until the early morning hours.

Theo also met up with some other friends, who happened to be in the states too, to go sightseeing though. The others were already familiar enough with LA, since they either lived there or had already visited the city plenty of times, and therefore weren’t really interested in doing that anymore. Whereas the singer couldn’t get enough of it. He loved walking around the city, visiting exhibitions and just seeing popular places one usually only knew from photographs.

However, Theo had cancelled his plans for today. Instead of meeting some friends, he had hired a cab and was now on his way to go for a little hike up Mount Lee. It was a beautiful summer day without a single cloud in the sky. Luckily it was still quite cool as the sun didn’t burn down on the land yet. There was even a slight wind blowing through the grass and the trees that were passing by as he looked outside the window. 

He started his trip in the early morning. Thus, he was hoping to avoid the merciless midday sun and also the inrush of tourists that was sure to come.

The singer wore a simple white t-shirt, dark shorts, the most casual shoes he owned and of course his favourite Ray-Ban sunglasses. In case he’d get thirsty, he had a bottle of water with him but he didn’t take any other provisions with him. It wasn’t really necessary. He knew the way, as he had already been there a few times. Last time he had been here, Adam had accompanied him. They went there on their last trip to the states together.

Anyway, after a short cab ride he arrived at his destination, the Sunset Ranch. The name wasn’t really fitting though, as the sun was just peeking over the horizon. He paid the driver and started strolling towards the hiking path. A broad way led up the hill and he could already see some skyscrapers after a little while of walking. He had a nice sight over the city and at the famous Hollywood sign. 

Theo remembered how he had persuaded Adam to take plenty of photos of him with the big letters in the background, to make sure to have at least one good shot. The pianist hadn’t minded, as he was already used to taking photos of the singer all the time. Therefore he always managed to take the best shots of his band mate. Theo had to smile to himself as he continued walking up the hiking trail.

Luckily there were hardly any people around and therefore the singer could enjoy the quiet surrounding nature in all it’s beauty. The first birds were already chirping and the city and it’s inhabitants were slowly waking up, as the sun made it’s way up the sky and coloured the City of Angels in a beautiful golden light. 

Theo needed some time to think. Alone. He just couldn’t bear seeing all those happy and carefree people all the time when he knew that his best friend was probably crying at home. This was his entire fault. The singer sighed. He’d have wanted nothing more than to be in London with Adam and look after him.

But this was most likely not such a good idea right now, as the guitarist was probably still feeling miserable and quite angry at him. Adam needed some time for himself and he didn’t want to be pushy and force him to any interactions yet.

+++

Adam had spent the last days alone in his apartment. He didn’t have any motivation nor the desire to do anything else than just sit in front of the tv. The pianist just watched some random crap that caught his interest for a second before he drifted off to his thoughts again anyways.

Why did he have to fall in love with his best friend? Couldn’t he just continue with seeing Theo as nothing more than his best friend, like all those years before? And couldn’t a certain singer just stop doing shit while he was drunk? That night on the bus hadn’t actually been the first time that his friend had gotten flirty with him and gave him false hope. It was just the first time Adam had gotten weak and gave in. Stupid Theo. Stupid feelings.

As he was just changing the channel again and came by some cooking show, he felt his stomach scream for attention. He was hungry. He hadn’t had any proper food yet. The guitarist sighed and stood up. He walked over into his kitchen and checked his supplies. He sighed again. There wasn’t much edible stuff left. Just some canned beans, half a pack of noodles and a bit of butter and milk in the fridge. Nothing he’d be in the mood for right now. That meant he had to do some grocery shopping. Great.

+++

The guitarist left his apartment and immediately put his collar up. It was pretty fucking cold and the icy wind just made it worse. He put his hands into his pockets to keep them warm and started walking down the street. Luckily, the store wasn’t too far and therefore he didn’t have to walk in the cold for too long.

As he walked into the store, he chose to get some vitamins first. Therefore, he walked into the fruit and vegetable section. He was just looking at some bananas, when he suddenly flinched visibly. 

He couldn’t believe it. Was this some sick joke of some higher force? He just wanted to run out of the supermarket right away again, as Theo’s voice was heard from the speakers. Of course they had to play “Stay” right now.

+++

Theo was at a party at some famous club in LA with his friends. For the whole evening, this very attractive brunette sent him promising glances. She wore a bright red body-hugging dress that hardly covered much more than her ass. The singer eventually walked over to her, with two drinks in his hand and introduced himself. 

They talked and flirted for quite a while and got quite touchy on the dance floor. The two were laughing and just enjoying each other’s company. 

Later that night, they went to the singer’s hotel room to get another drink. Soon their drinks were forgotten though, as they were busy with kissing each other. The girl reached up and started unbuttoning the singer’s shirt while Theo unzipped his company’s dress.

It wasn’t too long until both were almost naked and kissing passionately on the bed. The singer let his hands wander over the woman’s body, caressing her breasts and squeezing gently before he slowly trailed lower. He felt goose bumps appear wherever he touched her. She sighed contently and let her hands explore the singer’s body too.

As Theo leaned down and started kissing her neck, one of her thighs moved up and pressed between the singer’s legs, resulting in a grunting noise coming from the man. The thin fabric of his boxers couldn’t hide his already erected member. 

She stretched a bit forward, tugging her fingers behind the elastic band of Theo’s boxers and dragged them down a bit while she playfully bit down on his earlobe and sensually whispered, “I need you.”

Theo let go of the girl for a moment and pulled his boxers off, while watching the girl get rid of her last piece of clothing too. He then reached over to the nightstand next to the bed and got out a condom. The singer ripped the package open and quickly put it onto his erection before he positioned himself on top of the girl and slowly pushed into her, resulting in her digging her nails into his back. 

A mixture between a groan and a moan left the woman’s lips. Her face showed nothing but pure pleasure though as the singer started moving in and out of her with slow languid thrusts. The girl couldn’t hold back some lewd noises and was begging for more.

Theo sped up his pace and both were moaning shamelessly. The singer closed his eyes, his hair partly sticking to his forehead in lose strands, soft moans leaving his lips now and then.

When he opened his eyes again though, it wasn’t the girl that was laying underneath him, but instead Adam. He had his head thrown to the side, sweat running over his naked body and was moaning in pleasure. Suddenly the guitarist turned his head and looked right at him with dilated pupils.

At that Theo sat up with a jolt, breathing heavily. It had just been a dream. But a very vivid one. He glanced down at himself and saw the huge boner there. Fuck.

+++

As the singer was laying on the beach the next day, he just couldn’t get this dream out of his head. The other had admitted his feelings towards him, but what about himself? He wasn’t in love with his friend, was he? No way. He wasn’t gay. 

But why the hell did he dream of fucking the pianist? Of course, his thoughts circled around his friend a lot since he found out that the other apparently felt more than friendship for him. But would that explain such a dream? And why had he been so keen to get kissed by his friend, that night on the bus, in the first place?

Surely, he was drunk but he also had to admit that his friend wasn’t bad looking. In fact, he had a very handsome face. Nice body. Cute smile. Those stunning deep blue eyes- Wait. What? What the fuck was he even thinking? Adam was his friend. His best friend. That was it. Nothing more.

And what the hell was his explanation for fantasizing about said friend now? He might’ve excused his dream with being drunk and worried about the pianist but now he was lying on the beach without a single drop of alcohol in his bloodstream. 

The singer sighed and stood up from his sun-lounger. He walked towards the sea over the soft and hot sand underneath his feet. Maybe taking a swim in the cool ocean could make him think properly again.

+++

Adam sat at home on his balcony in London, with an acoustic guitar in his hands and a cup of coffee on the small table besides him. He was playing some random tunes, as he watched the sunrise and therefore how the sky was filled with the most beautiful colours of red. The guitarist just couldn’t stop thinking about Theo. He hadn’t seen the singer for some weeks now, but they had talked on the phone a few times.

Theo had been the one that had eventually called him and asked how he was. Of course, he didn’t quite tell him the truth and said he was fine. The pianist had had enough time to think about this whole situation concerning his feelings for the other man. It wasn’t as bad, as it had been while they were on tour, but Adam had a feeling this might change rapidly, once the singer was near him again. He even felt his heartbeat quickening and his hands getting shaky when he saw the other’s name flash up on the screen of his phone. Damn. 

Anyway, the pianist had also gotten a very detailed description of the other’s days in the states. He was thankful for that since he didn’t have to talk too much and could just listen to his friend. He loved listening to Theo babbling about this and that and had really missed hearing his voice. Well, he had missed the man in general but he would surely not tell him that. There was no need to get things even more awkward, for both of them.

It might be difficult and take some time but sooner or later he’d get over him, right? He had to. They had to continue working with each other to make new music and also tour again next year. Hopefully his stupid feelings wouldn’t ruin their band. Or even worse, their friendship.

However, during one of their last conversations, they planned on meeting up once the singer was back in rainy England to work on some songs. 

Both of them had worked on new material. Theo had written some lyrics and Adam was experimenting with a few tunes. Both men were excited and wanted to hear the other’s opinion about it.


	3. Chapter 3

The pianist had sweaty hands and his heart was hammering inside his chest. He felt as if he was waiting for his date and not just for a friend. Although, considering that Theo was his best friend on whom he had a huge crush and now saw for the first time after weeks, it was probably not that unusual to be nervous. He was anxious and unsure how everything would continue with them being friends and the band after confessing his feelings.

He sat at a table in a nicely quiet corner in a rather small but very cosy restaurant, which was located a bit outside of London’s city centre. From his seat, he had a perfect sight to the door, so that he’d see Theo when he’d enter the little tranquil eating place. 

On his left was a big window, where he could watch the people outside passing by and enjoying the sunny day, while on his right, there was a row of empty tables. Hopefully it would stay like that so that he at least wouldn’t have to worry about any nosy listeners.

Anyway, they had agreed on meeting once before they’d start with working on new songs together again. Mainly to make it a little easier for the pianist, so that they wouldn’t have to spend an enormous amount of time together right away. 

As Adam felt more comfortable not to be alone with Theo for a first meeting, to avoid eventual horrible awkwardness, they met for lunch at a restaurant. This would hopefully create a nice and pleasant atmosphere without too much awkward tension.

However, Adam was already sitting here for a few minutes. Knowing Theo, the other would probably turn up at exactly 12:00, as they had arranged a few days before. The guitarist wore his usual preferred outfit in black and white. On his feet, he wore his favourite and freshly polished boots. Just the way he liked it.

The table, where he was sitting at had a square shape and was nicely set for two people. There was a burnt down candle in the middle of the small piece of furniture, along with salt and pepper and two menu cards. Adam had already ordered a beer, to moisturise his dry throat and to be honest, also to calm his nerves a bit. A little bit of alcohol before coming face to face with his crush would surely do no harm.

He looked around at the people in the restaurant. His eyes had just settled onto a couple in the middle of the room, that was apparently laughing about something on the man’s phone, when he was distracted by the sound of a closing door.

Adam therefore looked over to the entrance and saw the singer standing there. A quick glance at his watch informed him that it was 11:50. The pianist hadn’t expected the other to arrive so early and was therefore quite surprised. 

Theo looked neat as always. He wore a white t-shirt, black suit jacket and skinny black trousers. The pianist felt his heartbeat quicken in an instant. Theo hadn’t seen him yet and therefore looked around a bit before his eyes eventually settled on his friend and a smile graced his lips.

Adam managed to give back a little smile. The older man took a deep breath, trying to stay calm, when a sudden thought crossed his mind. All intentions about being cool were gone in an instant, as he was freaking out and wriggling on his chair uncomfortably. 

The guitarist hadn’t even thought about that before but now that it was imminent, a big problem occurred. He had absolutely no idea how to greet the other. Hugging would probably be awkward but to just shake hands would be totally weird, considering that they were best friends. As he was freaking out about what the hell he should do now, the other came closer and closer.

The singer didn’t worry about greeting his mate though. Adam was his best friend, whom he had missed a lot and of course, he wanted to greet him properly. 

Therefore, Theo just went straight to the table, where the guitarist was already waiting. He noticed the slightly weird and flustered behaviour of his friend but shrugged it off as he had already expected the other to be quite nervous and also slightly awkward today. 

That he apparently was the reason for said behaviour, made him feel quite flattered, actually. Sure, Adam was attractive and he always enjoyed spending time with him, but he had never thought about the other being anything more than his best friend. 

Well, okay. To be completely honest, he had in fact. Theo briefly remembered a dream he had had when he was on holiday in LA. The things he and his mate were doing in his dream, surely wouldn’t pass as stuff you’d do with friends, even if it was your best friend. 

The singer tried to ignore said dream as good as he could but at times, he all of a sudden remembered it all again. And of course one of those moments had to be exactly now, when he was meeting Adam again. Great. 

Theo tried to act normal and ignored the slight blush that was creeping up his cheeks. Luckily it wasn’t visible due to his tanned skin. Good thing he had spent a lot of time on the beach when he had been in the States.

“Hey mate. Good to see you!”, he exclaimed happily before he walked around the table and leaned down to the man, to hug him tightly. 

It took a moment for the pianist to react but Adam eventually hugged him back and awkwardly patted his back a few times. 

“Hey Theo”, he mumbled, blushing slightly. 

The singer let go of him again, walked onto the other side of the table and took a seat opposite his friend.

“So, how are you?”, Theo asked, while taking off his suit jacket and hanging it over the back of his chair, revealing his muscular arms. 

“Good. I’m good.”, Adam replied, nodding his head a few times. 

It didn’t sound really convincing though. 

“How are you?”, he quickly asked as he saw how his friend squinted his eyes at him. 

“I’m great! I had a great time in the states but I’m glad to be back in England again. You know, I really missed you mate.”, the singer smiled. 

Adam couldn’t help the slight blush that was creeping up his face and Theo caught himself thinking that the guitarist looked really cute when he was so flustered. 

Nevertheless, he also noticed how uncomfortable this whole thing was for his mate. He didn’t attempt to make his friend feel weird when he had said that he had missed him. 

The younger man didn’t really think about what he had said, as he was just being honest. To him it was still unusual to know that his friend was in love with him. However, he quickly changed the topic. 

“Oh, you’ve already ordered something?”, the younger man asked, pointing at the guitarist’s beer. 

“Yeah, sorry.” 

“No, no! Never mind, it’s fine.”, Theo replied with a smile. 

He then looked for a waiter and gave him a sign that he’d like to order something.

+++

They sat there a while in silence, both focusing on the menu cards in their hands. Adam glimpsed at his friend a few times, trying to gain the courage to say something that bothered him all the time lately. 

He was about to speak when he got distracted by the singer’s hand, that reached out for his glass. Adam watched how the other brought the glass, which was filled with beer, up to his mouth and took a big gulp, his Adam’s apple bobbling as he swallowed. Then his tongue came out and licked some remaining drops of the golden liquid from his lips. 

The pianist eventually managed to tear his gaze off the other’s lips and felt his mouth being dry. The singer was totally unaware of the misery he had accidentally caused, as his gaze was still fixed on the menu card in front of him.

After a few deep breaths and some sips of beer, the guitarist managed to calm down again and finally dared to ask, he just needed to know. He shortly cleared his throat. 

“Uhm Theo?”, Adam addressed his friend. 

The singer looked up from the menu card immediately. 

“Hm?”, he hummed, his deep brown eyes focused on his friend. 

“Are we good? I mean… Now that you know…”, the pianist asked, not managing to keep eye contact as the words got stuck in his throat. 

“Of course we are.”, Theo smiled. “I mean, I don’t blame you for falling in love with me. I’m pretty lovable, actually.”, he smirked, shrugging slightly. 

At that, Adam was quite gobsmacked for a second. He didn’t expect the other to be so relaxed about this topic. Therefore, the pianist just stared at his friend for a moment in silence, before he started grinning. 

“You’re an idiot.”, he replied. 

“Aw is that a smile Adam? Are you really smiling?”, the singer grinned, happy to see his mate smile again after a long time. 

“Shut up”, the pianist gave back but had to smile even brighter. 

Theo sent him the most beautiful smile ever and thus he couldn’t help but stare and smile back. 

Their moment got interrupted and they had to tear their eyes off each other though, as the waiter turned up at their table again, to take their orders.

+++

After some time of waiting, that was filled with harmless small-talk about this and that, Theo’s holiday in the states and Adam’s free-time-activities, the waiter came back to their table with their ordered food. 

He placed a plate with grilled, spicy fish and deliciously looking trimmings in front of Theo and the other, which contained a medium grilled steak and baked potatoes, in front of the guitarist.

As the waiter was about to leave again, he noticed the little candle stub in the middle of their table. 

“Oh, sorry guys, I’ll quickly get you a new candle.”, the waiter excused himself. 

“No, no! It’s really not necessary.”, Adam hastily replied but the waiter was already on his way. 

“A little candle light would be nice, don’t you think?”, Theo asked casually, as he took the napkin and placed it in his lap. 

The guitarist sighed. “Sure”, he mumbled and felt his face getting hot. 

He actually had nothing against some candle light but it was a well-known fact that candles were used to create a romantic atmosphere for couples. And this was not a date. They were just friends who went out for lunch. Friends who happened to kiss once after having too much alcohol and one being helplessly in love with the other. But after all, just friends.

A minute later, the waiter returned to their table. 

“Here you go, lovelies.”, the waiter smiled, took the burnt down candle away and instead replaced it with a new one. 

He then proceeded to light the candle and wished them a good time and to enjoy their meal. 

“Thanks, but we’re not-“, Adam wanted to clarify but got interrupted by his friend. 

“Thank you.”, Theo said and sent the waiter a smile. 

The man indicated a little bow and retrieved.

The guitarist looked at his friend confused, furrowing his brows. Apparently, their waiter assumed that they were a couple. But why? They didn’t do or say anything to give him this idea. 

“He probably saw you staring at Theo like a lovesick idiot”, he thought to himself and sighed. But why did Theo not seem to bother at all?

“What?”, the singer asked, seeing the almost accusing look the other sent him. 

“Nothing”, Adam mumbled and gave his attention to the appetizingly smelling food in front of him. 

“Bon appétit”, Theo smiled and poked a piece of a carrot with his fork.

+++

“I hope everything was alright?”, the waiter asked, as he took the empty plates from the table. 

“Yes, thank you. It was delicious.”, the singer replied. 

“Yeah, it was very good, thanks.”, Adam said. 

“Thanks, I’ll pass that compliment straight to the cook.”, the waiter said, smiling. 

“Can I persuade you to a dessert?”, he asked, while professionally storing the empty plates on his right arm. 

“Sure”, Theo exclaimed happily. 

He had a sweet tooth and was thus always looking forward to desserts. 

“What can you recommend us?”, he asked. 

“Well, we have this really delicious warm chocolate cake with a liquid core and some vanilla ice cream.”, the waiter answered, obviously being a big fan of said suggestion himself. 

“Sounds great! I’ll take one.”, the singer exclaimed. “What about you?”, he addressed the pianist. 

“No, thanks. I’m full already.”, Adam uttered, feeling like he’d burst if he’d eat anything more.

“Alright, one chocolate cake it is then. I’ll be right back.”, the waiter said and walked towards the kitchen. 

“You sure there’s no more space for some chocolate cake in your tummy?”, Theo asked, grinning. 

“Pretty sure.”, Adam answered and patted his stomach.

+++

Adam had excused himself for a moment and went to the bathroom. He just needed a little break or he’d go mental. 

It wasn’t Theo’s fault but it seemed like every stupid little movement he made was driving the pianist crazy. Whether it was the way he took a sip of beer or how his whiskey brown eyes lit up when he was smiling. Thinking about that smile, he already felt his heart flutter again. 

He took a few deep breaths before he turned on the tap and washed his face with cold water. 

“Get your shit together Anderson”, he muttered, looking at himself in the mirror.

+++

As he came back to the table, Theo had already gotten his dessert and was therefore now munching the sweet treat. 

He sat down opposite his friend again and looked at the plate with chocolate cake and ice cream in front of Theo. He couldn’t deny that it really did look and smell tremendously appealing. 

“You’re missing out big time.”, the singer grinned and put another spoon full of the deliciously looking, creamy cake between his even more deliciously looking lips. 

“Mmmmh”, the younger man almost moaned, as he chewed the bit he had just taken, his eyes closed. 

The guitarist bit his lip and was briefly wondering, if the other made such sounds in bed and how he’d never find out the answer to that question. 

He quickly shook his head though, to get those thoughts out of his head. Fuck, he really had to stop thinking about his friend like that. 

He shortly cleared his throat and took a sip of beer to moisturize his dry mouth. 

“Good?”, Adam then asked, managing a little smile. 

“So, so good.”, the other man replied, making even more insinuating sounds. 

Meanwhile, Adam got more and more uncomfortable. His nails were digging into his palms and he was trying to get all kinds of inappropriate thoughts out of his head. 

God damn it, Theo surely didn’t make this any easier though. Was it too suspicious if he’d excuse himself to go to the bathroom again?

“Wanna taste?”, Theo asked, after he had swallowed the bit he had been chewing and hence got the pianist out of his thoughts. 

“Uh, no, thank you.”, the older man uttered. 

“You sure?” 

“Yeah. I’m on a diet anyway.”, Adam replied. 

“Oh, c’mon. You don’t even need a diet, you look great!”, the singer said. 

This comment actually made the others cheeks slightly flushed. 

“Besides that, a spoon full of chocolate cake surely won’t hurt your six-pack.”, the singer added smirking. 

Now Adam was sure that his cheeks were reddened indeed. Damn it.

“Come on, I know you want it.”, Theo smirked and held the little spoon with some cake on it out towards his mate. 

The pianist sighed, a little smile on his lips and reached out his hand to take the spoon. That was not what the other had in mind though. 

“Nu-uh”, he uttered, pulling the spoon back a bit, so Adam couldn’t reach it. 

The guitarist furrowed his brows in confusion for a second before he understood. Oh no. The other didn’t really want to feed him, did he? It wasn’t as if their waiter didn’t think they were a couple already, no, Theo had to push it even more. 

Adam glared at his mate for a second but the other just raised his brow at him, a smirk on those sinful lips. The guitarist quickly glanced to the side. No one was looking. Or at least he hoped so. 

Therefore, he quickly leaned forward and let Theo feed him the mouth-wateringly smelling piece of cake, which was held out towards him once again. 

The singer smiled pleased and was already busy, getting some more of the dessert into his own mouth. 

“Good?”, he asked, still smiling, as he looked over at his friend. 

The pianist nodded, “Very”, he muttered between chewing.

+++

Adam had finally managed to clear up the situation concerning them being a couple, after the waiter had asked them if they wanted to split or share the bill. The waiter looked quite surprised at that new gained information but immediately apologized and started to blush heavily. 

However, the two were now walking into the city centre. Of course, they could’ve taken a cab but they refused. The sun was shining and a slightly cool breeze brought a nice refreshment, so that it was the perfect weather for a walk. Besides that, both had eaten too much and were glad for the little exercise.

“Adam?”, the singer eventually asked, after they had been walking in silence for a while. 

“Hm?”, the other man hummed, a bit uneasily. 

“Are you okay?” 

The guitarist was about to answer when his mate cut him off. 

“And don’t you dare lie to me.”, the singer warned. 

Adam sighed and stayed silent for a moment before he mumbled, “Fine. Let’s say I’m not exactly good.”

“I’m sorry.”, the singer mumbled and shortly bit his lip. 

“Will you get over me?”, Theo quietly asked. 

The guitarist froze for a second before he quickly blurted, “Of course.” 

That quick answer gave the singer a slight sting in his chest. Was it really that easy for the other to get over him? 

“I mean…”, the older man added, “It’s gonna take some time, you know?” 

“I see.”, Theo hummed, seeming lost in thoughts. 

“But I’ll make it, don’t worry!”, Adam quickly said, assuming that that probably wasn’t what the other had wanted to hear. 

Rather that they could go back to being just normal friends, without any awkwardness between them, as soon as possible.

They eventually arrived at a crossroad and therefore had to separate, as their apartments were located in opposite directions.

Theo turned towards his friend. 

“See you around?”, he asked. 

“Yeah, sure.”, Adam answered. 

The singer took a step forward and gave his mate a quick hug, making the guitarist’s heart flutter once again, before he let go of him, turned around and walked into the direction of his home.

The pianist looked after him with mixed feelings. He couldn’t deny the fact that he was madly in love with this guy and the way he acted today surely didn’t make things easier for the poor man. 

Adam knew that he’d have to get rid of those feelings though. Theo was his best friend and he didn’t want to lose him.


	4. Chapter 4

+++ some weeks later +++

Theo knew he should be considerate concerning his mate’s feelings towards him and stop doing all the things he does. He knew it was wrong and teasing. Maybe Adam hated him for it, but he just couldn’t help it. Well, judging by the other’s reactions and taking into account his friend’s feelings, the pianist probably didn’t hate him for it. However, Theo just loved how his friend reacted to those little gestures. The way he got all shy around him and his cheeks turned rosy, making him look cute…

Anyway, they had eventually started working on new songs. At first just a few hours but as the ideas kept coming, the songs developed rather quickly. Therefore the periods they were spending together got longer and longer with each meeting.

However, it was already late at night. Well, you could actually say it was pretty early in the morning. To be exact, the clock in Theo’s private little music studio said it was 2:24 am.

Adam had come over to his apartment in the morning and they had spent most of the day working on a new song. The only break they took was to get lunch at midday. 

Theo had had some lyrics in mind for months and when they were done with touring, he finally wrote them down. At first, it were just a few lines but when the tour stress was over and he finally had some time for himself, he finished the song rather quickly. 

Adam had an acoustic guitar and his laptop with him and together they looked for a tune that could fit to Theo’s lyrics. Since the pianist had been working on some music already, it didn’t take too long until they found something of which both of them approved.

In the end, they were actually quite pleased with the result but when Adam looked at the clock and it was already way past midnight, they agreed on getting some sleep.

Since Theo didn’t want his friend to drive to his own apartment at such an early hour, he offered that he could sleep at the singer’s flat. Adam had done so plenty of times and thankfully accepted the offer.

The guitarist was already settling comfortably on the couch, where a soft blanket and some cosy cushions were always ready for visitors, when Theo started to talk.

“Uhm Adam, there’s a little problem. The heating here in the living room doesn’t work. I wanted to let it get fixed but always forgot to, so it can get kinda cold at night…“, he said.

Now that the singer said that, he felt that it really wasn’t too warm in here. But with a blanket it would be fine for sure. 

“I’m sure I’ll manage.”, Adam said smiling.

“I’m not freezing as easily as you.”, he added. 

“Alright but well… Uh… You could always join me in bed, you know?”, the singer offered, scratching his neck to cover his slight embarrassment over how one could misinterpret those words. 

Especially in their current situation. 

“Like, you know… It’s big enough.”, he added, feeling the need to clarify.

The pianist froze for a split second, feeling his heartbeat speeding up just at the thought of him and Theo sharing a bed. He quickly shook it off though and forced himself to sound calm, even managing a tiny smile. 

“Thanks, but I’ll be fine here.”, he reassured the other. 

“Alright. Then suit yourself. Good night.” 

“Good night.”, Adam answered and watched after the singer as he walked out of the room.

With a sigh, he made himself comfortable on the couch, deciding to keep his clothes on in case he would really get cold. The guitarist soon dozed off after an exhausting day of studio work.

His slumber didn’t last long though. He was woken by the clattering of his own teeth. It really was fucking cold in here. The pianist pulled the blanket up to his chin and tried to get warm again. Nevertheless, it didn’t really work though, since the blanket wasn’t made out of some warming material but was rather some thin piece of fabric to give one the feeling of comfort at night.

He reached out his hand and grabbed his phone, which he had placed on the rather small wooden table besides the couch, before he had lain down. The brightness of his display first blinded him but as his eyes got adjusted to the light, he saw that it was 3:41 am. Damn. Good thing he didn’t undress or he would probably be totally frozen by now. He tried snuggling into his pillows and blanket again, rubbing his hands together and breathing hot air against them. It all didn’t really help though. He was still shivering all over his body.

By now he was seriously considering to just go to Theo and ask him if he could come and sleep in his bed. It wasn’t as if they’d never shared a bed before, but since Adam had finally admitted that he felt more than friendship for the singer, there was some kind of awkwardness between them when it was about touching the other or being alone in a small room. So sharing a bed with the man of his dreams sounded very tempting but not when said man didn’t feel the same.

In those few weeks, he had had to think about everything, he had eventually figured out that it wasn’t just some simple crush that he had developed on the singer. At first, he thought it maybe was because they had spent so much time together because of the tour and stuff. But maybe he just needed this time to get the confirmation of what he had suspected for a while already. He actually was in love with Theo.

Theo had reacted quite surprised and shocked at first, after the pianist’s confession but he wasn’t somehow disgusted or something that his best friend apparently was gay for him. The singer had also made clear though, that he saw Adam as his best friend but nothing more.

However, after another 20 minutes of shaking, he stood up, wrapped the blanket around himself, so only his face was peeking out and walked into the direction of Theo’s bedroom. 

When he was at the door, he freed his right hand and softly knocked three times. As he didn’t hear an answer, he silently opened the door and stuck his head inside. 

“Theo?”, he whispered from the door. 

No answer. He went into the room, closed the door behind him, to keep the cold outside, and walked a bit closer to the bed, where the singer was sleeping peacefully.

When he saw his sleeping friend, he immediately felt bad for waking him but he just couldn’t stay outside in the cold living room any longer or he would probably get awfully sick. They were done with touring and had no interviews or photo-shoots on their schedule but there was still an album to make and he really didn’t need a cold right now.

“Theo?”, he whispered again and saw the singer stir. 

“Hmmm?”, he heard the other mumble sleepily from the bed. 

“C-c-could I join you?”, the pianist stuttered because he was so cold. 

Now Theo seemed to be awake too. 

“Sure.”, he said and moved a bit to one side of the bed, opening the duvet invitingly.

Adam quickly stepped into the bed, his blanket still wrapped around his shivering frame. 

“Thanks.”, he mumbled, as he lay down, still shivering all over. 

“Cold?”, Theo asked, as he put the warm duvet over his friend and lay down too, facing his mate. 

Said one nodded.

Adam just lay there for a few minutes, the shivering not seeming likely to stop. Theo seemed to notice that too. 

“Come here, I’ll warm you.”, he said softly.

At that the guitarist froze dead in his movement. 

He was not even able to shiver for a second, despite the cold, his eyes widening before he mumbled, “Thanks but I uh… I’m f-fine.” 

Of course, he would’ve loved to be so close to Theo but it would be just awkward as both of them knew how Adam felt about his friend.

“Aw, now don’t be shy. Come here. It’s alright.”, his mate smiled.

“It’s really not necessary.”, Adam mumbled into the duvet, not daring to look at his friend even in the total darkness of the room.

“Oh come on. You’re shivering all over and tell me it’s not necessary that I warm you?

There was silence for a moment before the guitarist sighed. “Are you really alright w-w-with t-that?”

“Of course, don’t be stupid. Do you think I want to let you freeze? Now get your arse over here.”, the singer said in an almost commanding voice.

At that the guitarist moved indeed carefully closer to his friend.

“Get rid of that blanket, I can better get you warm without it.”, the singer said.

Adam did as told and unwrapped himself of the extra duvet he had put around himself.

As he kept moving closer to his friend, he noticed that Theo had already opened his arms invitingly and slung them around the freezing form of his bandmate when said one was close enough. 

The pianist kept his hands tightly pressed against his own body, not daring to touch Theo any more than necessary. He was thankful that the other didn’t seem to treat him differently, now that he knew about his feelings but being this close to him was almost torture for the poor guitarist.

Anyway, the singer started rubbing the other’s back in order to get him warm while Adam snuggled close to the very welcomed warm body of his mate. His head was leaning against Theo‘s chest and he therefore noticed that his friend didn’t wear a t-shirt. Oh god. The older man tried his best not to think about it too much and rather focussed onto the cold that was still causing goose bumps all over his body. Though to be honest, it wasn’t solely the cold anymore, that made goose bumps appear on his body.

However, that action made Theo yelp because of the contact of his warm naked skin with his friend’s ice-cold nose. 

“Shit Adam, you’re ice-cold! You should’ve come here right away.”, the singer stated in an accusing tone, as he continued rubbing the other’s back, glad when he felt him shiver a little less. 

Instead, though, he felt the other man’s pounding heartbeat and couldn’t help the little smile that appeared on his lips. This bloody idiot. Would rather freeze to death than cuddle against him. As if he’d hate his friend for something the other had no impact on.

After some minutes of cuddling against Theo, the guitarist was finally warm again. He didn’t want to move away from the source of comfort just yet though, since he was very comfy in the other’s arms. Therefore, he didn’t move, pretending to be asleep and waited until the other would pull away. Nevertheless, Theo didn’t do that either. He was quite comfortable too. So, they just lay there cuddled together and fell asleep soon.

+++

When Adam woke up, he was confused at first before he remembered what had happened earlier and didn’t wonder anymore, why he was lying in his best friend’s arms. He sighed contently and slightly tightened his hold around the other man, snuggling close again. Somehow, he must’ve wrapped his arms around his mate during the night, as he remembered that he didn’t dare to touch him the night before.

Suddenly he heard his friend laugh quietly though and froze immediately. He quickly let go of the singer, scrambled away from his mate and sat up on the bed, as far away from Theo as possible.

“Good morning”, Theo smiled. “Slept well?”

At that Adam actually felt his cheeks heat up. He turned his head slightly away from the other before he mumbled “Yeah… Thanks.” 

“How long are you awake?”, he asked, hoping to sound nonchalantly. 

Theo shrugged before he replied, “Just woke up.” 

Actually, that wasn’t fairly true. The singer had already been awake for quite a while. As he had woken up and thus felt the other’s arms wrapped around him, he just didn’t have the heart to pull away and thus risk waking up the guitarist. 

It wasn’t as if he was uncomfortable though, rather the opposite. Therefore, he just stayed in the other’s embrace and waited until his friend would wake up and let go of him. However, now that the other had unexpectedly squeezed him tightly, he just couldn’t hold back the little laugh which had resulted in waking the older man.

“What’s the time?”, the guitarist asked, still not daring to face the other because he still felt his face being hot. 

“Eleven something”, the singer uttered.

The pianist hoped his friend didn’t notice his reaction but of course he did. 

What is more, he certainly wouldn’t miss the chance to make him even more uncomfortable and asked with a sweet voice “Are you blushing?”

“What?! No! I’m… I’m not!” 

He just heard Theo laugh next to him. 

“Oh well, then why don’t you show me your face, Adam?” 

“Fuck off.”, the pianist replied embarrassed.

The singer laughed warmly before he asked, “Do you want some breakfast?” 

“Sure.”, Adam muttered, still feeling embarrassed. 

“Alright, I’m gonna go take a quick shower and then I’ll make us breakfast. We can continue cuddling afterwards and you know, watch a movie or something, if you like.”, Theo smiled and sent him a wink. 

This resulted in the pianist’s face turning deep red immediately.

With that, Theo stood up and walked out of the room. While doing so, the guitarist couldn’t help himself but catch a glimpse of the singers naked back, trailing lower to his boxer shorts.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard the singer speak again, “Didn’t your mum tell you that staring is impolite?” 

That comment made Adam blush even more, as he remembered that night on the bus. His face got hotter and hotter and he quickly looked away. 

“I’m not!”, he blurted, the first thing that came to his mind. 

“Sure.”, Theo answered, facing him and sending him a sweet knowing smile before he vanished in the small corridor.

The pianist covered his face with his hands and groaned in embarrassment. Was Theo doing this on purpose? Of course he was. He just liked to tease Adam now that he knew about what the guitarist felt for him. The poor man would’ve loved to just leave Theo’s apartment as quick as possible but he wouldn’t give in so easily. 

He had to learn to behave normal around the other. Therefore, he stepped out of the bed and went to the living room, where he then turned the tv on and sat down on the couch. While doing so, he tried hard not to think about the fact that just a few meters away from him, the singer was showering.

+++

As he heard his friend come out of the bathroom and into the living room, he shortly looked over at him and held his breath. He surely wasn’t expecting what he saw. The other was still slightly wet, his hair combed back as usual though and just a towel wrapped around his waist. He quickly averted his eyes but felt his cheeks turn red yet again.

Theo seemed to enjoy making his friend uncomfortable, judging by the satisfied smile that stole itself on his features. 

“You can take a shower as well, if you want. I’m gonna go and make breakfast.” 

“Uh ok. Thanks.”, he mumbled, staring at the floor as he almost ran out of the room and into the bathroom, locking the door behind himself before he sighed in relief. 

Then he quickly stripped and stepped into the shower, suppressed all thoughts about the singer and just enjoyed the warm water.

+++

When he was done showering, he stepped out of the shower and took a towel to dry himself. That was when he noticed, that he hadn’t brought any fresh clothes with him. He would surely not put on his crumpled stinky ones when he had just taken a shower. Maybe Theo would borrow him some of his’. After all they sometimes did share clothes when they had something that fitted them both. He’d just ask him.

Adam wrapped the towel around his waist and opened the door a crack. 

“Theo?”, he asked. 

No answer. 

“Theo?”, he asked again, louder this time. 

After shouting for his bandmate for another two times with no answer, he sighed and walked out into the corridor and over to the kitchen, where he could already smell the scent of coffee and eggs.

He opened the door slightly and saw Theo standing at the stove, frying some eggs and whistling some random tunes. 

“Theo?”, he asked. At that, the singer turned towards him with a smile. 

“Hmm?”, he asked, meanwhile his eyes settling on Adam’s naked upper body and slowly trailing lower.

The guitarist felt himself blush again. He was sure Theo had done this on purpose too. Of course he had heard him shout before. He just wanted the other to come into the kitchen with nothing but a towel covering him. But why was he doing this?

“Uhm could you maybe borrow me some clothes? I don’t really fancy putting on my dirty ones again.” 

“Sure.”, the other smiled and walked out of the kitchen and into the bedroom, where he opened his cupboard and got out a simple black t-shirt, lose black trousers, some socks and a pair of boxers, which he then handed to his mate. 

“Thanks.”, he said and took the clothes. 

“Sure thing mate. Hurry up, breakfast’s almost ready.” 

“Alright.”, Adam answered before he vanished into the bathroom once more and quickly put on Theo’s clothes.

They fit him more or less and so he soon was in the kitchen and sat down on one of the chairs at the table, like the singer told him to.

Theo brought two plates with a satisfying amount of scrambled eggs and bacon to the table where Adam was already sitting on and putting sugar into his coffee. 

“Thanks”, he mumbled as Theo put one of the plates in front of him. 

The singer sat down on the chair opposite to his friend and both started eating their breakfast.

“You want some?”, the singer uttered, with his mouth full of scrambled eggs, holding out a small plate with toast on it. 

“Yeah, thanks.”, the pianist answered and took a piece of the toasted bread.

Adam took a bite from the toast and chewed it while lifting his cup of coffee to his mouth. He shortly blew on it to coolen it a bit before he took a sip. While doing so, he unfortunately looked up at the skin that was peeking out from the simple short-sleeved plaid shirt of his mate opposites him. His gaze then wandered up to the other’s face. 

As he stared into two whiskey coloured eyes that were fixated right onto him and saw an amused smirk on the singer’s lips, he almost choked on the sip of coffee he had just taken and started to cough violently.

“You okay?”, Theo asked with a smile. 

After several attempts of trying to speak through the heavy coughing, he eventually got out a “Yeah.” 

He then stood up from the chair he was sitting on and went to the kitchen’s sink to get a glass of water.

As he was drinking the cold liquid and felt his coughing abate, he noticed Theo behind him. Suddenly he felt a hand rubbing his back while another settled on his shoulder. Because the surprising action had totally startled the guitarist, he turned around in a flash, suddenly standing face to face with the singer. Close. Very close. Too close.

“Better?”, Theo asked. 

The pianist was lost for words and just nodded awkwardly. 

“Good. I’m glad.”, the singer answered and just like that let go of the pianist and sat back down to continue his breakfast. 

Adam shook his head, willing all inappropriate thoughts away and sat down again too, trying to act normal.

+++

When they were done with doing the dishes Adam shortly cleared his throat before he muttered “I think I’m gonna get going. I’ll bring you your clothes next time we meet.” 

“You wanna go already? But I thought we wanted to watch a movie!” 

“Well uhm-“ 

“Oh come on!”, Theo interrupted him. “We hardly spent time together lately.”

“But we-“, Adam started but was cut off by his mate immediately. 

“I don’t mean working on new songs! That doesn’t count.”, Theo stated. 

“Well yeah but-“, Adam started once more, just to be cut off by his friend again. 

“Don’t you want to be with me?”, the singer asked, looking right into his eyes. 

Adam felt himself getting nervous at the other’s choice of words, his heartbeat speeding up. Be with me. Of course he wanted to be with him. And by that he didn’t just mean to watch some stupid movie together.

“Don’t be stupid. You know I do. How much I do…”, the pianist trailed off, images of earlier today running through his head. 

He remembered how it felt to be so close to Theo. 

“I mean-“, he started, shaking his head and getting back to reality but was interrupted by the other man once more. 

“Alright then. Now let‘s move to the couch and watch some movie.”, the singer cut him off, already grinning again. 

“But The-“ 

“Oi! To the couch, I said! I’m not gonna discuss about that.”, Theo commanded. 

With a defeated sigh, Adam eventually gave in.

+++

After they had finally decided which movie they should watch, they were now sitting side by side on Theo’s big couch. Adam was seemingly uncomfortable while his mate turned up the volume and settled into a more comfortable position. Said position included him sitting awfully close to the other on the huge couch.

The singer had prepared a bowl of popcorn and greedily munched his favourite treat, offering some of it to the guitarist. Adam took a hand full and nibbled on it. 

When he was done with eating the popcorn, he leaned a bit forward and got a beer from the table, which Theo had put there before along with some other alcoholic drinks. Maybe the alcohol would make him relax a bit.

+++

The pianist wasn’t really paying attention to the movie since it was very distracting to have this god damn handsome man so close. Against all his hopes though, the alcohol didn’t really help to calm him down. He could feel the other move slightly from time to time or shaking when he was laughing too hard about something in the movie.

Adam had no idea what was funny. Neither what kind of movie they were actually watching. He looked at the screen but didn’t focus on what was happening there. He just couldn’t concentrate on that fucking movie with this idiot being so damn close.

Suddenly he let out a strange sound of surprise. At first, he wasn’t sure what had happened but after a moment of confusion, he realised that his friend had poked him into the side. He looked at the other confused, his forehead wrinkled.

“Do you even pay attention? Don’t you like the movie? Should we watch another one?”, Theo asked. 

“Uh no, no it’s fine. I was just… Lost in thoughts.”, he muttered. 

Theo gave him a worried look before he sent him a smile. 

“You space out a lot lately, you know that?”

As Adam didn’t answer, the singer poked him again. 

“Hey!”, Adam complained. 

“Stop that!” 

“Oh, you want me to stop?”, Theo asked teasingly and poked him once more. 

“I’m serious, Theo! Stop it!” 

“Make me.”, the singer gave back smirking. 

Adam stared at his mate for a moment, gulping audibly.

But before he had fully realised what was going on though, Theo had already put the bowl of popcorn away and almost jumped onto him, starting to tickle his sensitive sides. The guitarist made some strange sounds due to the forced laugh attack. 

“Theooo”, he whined, between laughing. 

Adam tried to escape by crawling backwards on the couch, trying to keep his mate at distance with his feet in the meantime.

It wasn’t so easy to keep the other man away though. Theo followed him quickly and managed to shove himself between the other’s legs. Kicking was for no use anymore, so Adam brought his hands into the game and started tickling the singer too. This was just slightly effective and managed to startle the singer for a moment but since Adam was already weak because his stomach hurt from all the laughing, his strength gave in and he was exposed to the singer’s tickling. 

“Stop it, please!”, Adam begged, tears running down his face from laughing.

Luckily Theo did stop and so the guitarist had time to calm down and breathe normally again.

He suddenly felt hot breath gushing over his face and therefore looked up and right into Theo’s smiling face. In that moment, he realised how close the other actually was. He felt his heart starting to beat madly in his chest.

At first his eyes settled on the other’s deep whiskey brown eyes which were staring right back at him but soon his gaze trailed lower to those soft and rosy lips. So close. Adam unconsciously licked his own lips before he inhaled sharply. He tore his gaze away from the other’s mouth and instead focused onto his eyes again.

He opened his mouth in order to say something but was hindered as Theo leaned down and softly sealed the guitarist’s lips with his own salty ones. Adam’s eyes fluttered close and he froze in his movement. He didn’t dare to move, holding his breath.

As he felt the firm pressure of the kiss retreat, he opened his eyes in a flash, expecting Theo to jump off and panic at his action. But the singer didn’t. Instead, he leaned down again, his hands settling nicely on the other’s sides, running up and down, while he carefully lowered himself completely onto the body of his friend underneath him, settling comfortably between the other’s legs.

As Adam felt the soft touch of the other’s lips for a second time, he still couldn’t believe that this was actually happening. This must be some crazy vivid dream or something. As unbelievable as it was though, Adam wouldn’t miss the chance and therefore reached his hands up behind Theo’s back and hugged him close before softly responding to the kiss.

It started sweet and innocent but soon got more passionate, as Theo started to nibble on his lower lip before he licked it, asking for permission. The pianist gladly opened his mouth and soon their tongues touched, making both moan quietly.

As they eventually let go of each other again, both were breathing heavily, their lips reddened. Soon a smug grin appeared on the singer’s face though. Therefore, Adam looked at him questioningly. 

“I guess someone’s very happy.”, the younger man smiled. 

The pianist furrowed his brows in confusion for a moment before Theo slightly started to roll his hips down, creating friction and resulting in a loud moan coming from the man below.

Adam’s eyes went wide as realisation hit him. He had a hard on. How should it be any different with such a hot beast lying between his legs, half on top of him, kissing him. The guitarist’s face went red and he moved to sit up, mumbling something incoherent.

“No, no! Stay.”, Theo said reassuringly, pushing the other into a lying position again. 

“I can help you with that.”, he smiled.

In the next second, he was already attacking his mate’s lips again, immediately feeling the guitarist’s attempt to escape stop and instead responding eagerly. He smiled into the kiss, quite enjoying the power he had over the other.

Adam wrapped his arms around the singer’s neck, holding him close. While he was distracting the guitarist with his lips, Theo moved one of his hands down to his friend’s trousers before he sneaked inside. Good thing he had given his friend a pair of trousers with just an elastic band. This made the following action for the guitarist underneath him even more surprising.

As he grabbed the other’s erection through his boxers, he promptly got a loud moan from the other. 

“Holy shit”, Adam exclaimed, his hips stuttering up involuntarily, mouth agape and his head falling back into the cushions.

The singer grinned brightly and continued squeezing and massaging his friend, while softly kissing his neck. 

“Theo- fuck- mmmmh- Stop… plea-mhh”, the guitarist brought out between some moans. 

“Something wrong?”, Theo asked, stopping all his movements and looking at his friend. 

“I uh- I don’t think this is a good idea.”, the pianist uttered, avoiding to look the other man into the eyes.

“Why not?”, Theo asked. 

“Isn’t this what you want? I mean you obviously enjoy this.”, the singer stated.

“But I thought you weren’t gay and yet here you are with my dick in your hand.”, the guitarist uttered, slightly blushing and nodding towards his groin where Theo’s hand was indeed still touching his penis.

“Well, let’s say I’m not always 100% straight.”, the singer replied.

“Wha- What does that mean?”

“I’m always open for an adventure.”, Theo shrugged. 

“Just stop thinking and let’s have some fun.”, the singer mumbled, let go of Adam and moved up to look into the other’s eyes.

“Okay?”, he asked, looking at his friend. 

The pianist bit his lip. Sure, Theo was drunk. Hella drunk probably. He knew this was wrong and would make things just worse for him but he didn’t really care about that at the moment. To be honest, he had never even imagined in his wildest dreams that he’d be doing such things with his friend for real. Also, the hand that had just been in his pants and the other’s kisses were just too tempting. He could as well enjoy this as long as it lasted and worry about it afterwards. The guitarist eventually sighed and glanced up at his friend.

Theo sent him a smile before he leaned down and kissed him on the mouth. Adam quickly wrapped his arms around him and kissed him back. The singer’s lips wandered down his jaw, nibbling on it and moved further to his neck, where he placed a trail of soft kisses, making the other man sigh in pleasure.


	5. Chapter 5

Adam woke up and was totally confused. The first thing he realised was that this wasn’t his bed. He turned onto his back and lazily stretched before he opened his eyes. The guitarist leaned up onto his elbows and took a closer look around the room. He was alone, but the crumpled bed sheets next to him indicated that he hadn’t been sleeping alone last night.

Suddenly it hit him. Theo. Oh fucking god, this stupid wanker. What was he even thinking? Seducing his best friend when he knew how said one felt about him?

_“Well, he probably was too drunk to even remember fucking his best friend anyway”_ , he angrily thought to himself.

However, Adam sat up and noticed that he was butt ass naked. Therefore, he looked around the room for his clothes. Or well, rather Theo’s clothes, as the other had lent him some. Anyway, there was no sight of them though, so he lifted the duvet to see if they were laying somewhere on the bed. But with no luck either. He surely wouldn’t leave the other’s apartment without any clothes on but he wasn’t exactly keen on staying here either. Fuck.

He shortly remembered that Theo had started undressing him on the couch in the living room. So most of his clothes were probably spread all over said room. He surely didn’t really fancy walking over there and risk getting caught by the host though. God damn it. There really weren’t many options left. Two to be exact. Stay in the bed safely covered but still naked or get up and gather some clothes to leave before Theo appeared, meanwhile risking bumping into said man just as god had made him.

But speaking of Theo, where was he anyway? Maybe he got scared and ran away or just hid somewhere until he was gone, which either way would solve his current misery. After all, the other surely regretted his drunken actions from the night before. Whereas for him it had been absolutely amazing. Better than everything he had ever dreamed of and longed for. Adam sighed deeply and hid his face in his hands. Why the fuck had he been so weak? He really shouldn’t have done that. This only made things worse between them and would sooner or later lead to some horrible and awkward confrontation.

Suddenly, he was ripped out of his miserable thoughts as he heard the bathroom door open and thus, started freaking out, wondering what he should do. How would the other react if he found him sitting in his bed? Naked on top of that. But it was too late to get away anyway. At least unseen and not completely exposed.

However, it wasn’t too long until the singer walked into the room. He was just wearing a pair of black boxer shorts, his hair still slightly wet from the shower he had apparently been taking. Great.

“Oh, you’re awake.”, Theo smiled and walked over to him.

Wait what? He was smiling? Why the hell was he smiling? Shouldn’t he be freaking out or something?

Adam started blushing and quickly made sure that a certain part of his body was covered with the duvet. He pulled said fabric slightly closer, holding it in a tight grip and therefore made the other man chuckle.

“It’s not like you’re hiding something I haven’t seen, you know.”, Theo smirked, jumped onto the bed and crawled towards the pianist, where he then took a seat next to him.

“I’ve seen every single naked inch of you last night.”, the singer added, grinning smugly.

“Oh god.”, Adam groaned, blushed heavily and hid his face in his hands again.

“I hate you.”, he uttered.

“Hey”, Theo said softly, “It’s not like you have to be ashamed of anything. You know, I enjoyed it very much, actually. You, in my bed, naked, moaning my name-“

“Alright, alright, shut up already.”, the guitarist quickly interrupted his friend, face and ears dark red.

Now that he heard Theo talk about last night, he had some dirty images of the singer and him doing… stuff running through his head.

The younger man chuckled.

“I wouldn’t mind this happening again, actually.”, he suddenly stated.

At that, Adam revealed his face and stared at the younger one disbelievingly with his mouth agape.

“What the fuck, Theo?! I’m not your sex toy. I have feelings, you know. Feelings I told you about. Feelings which I know- Which _both of us_ know, are not mutual and you just go seducing me anyway.”, the pianist stated angrily.

“Of course you’re not, now don’t be stupid. I’m just saying that I liked it and it wasn’t as if I forced you to do anything.”, the other man replied.  

“Well, how the fuck am I supposed to think clearly and stop you when you keep doing things to me?”, the guitarist uttered and couldn’t help but blush awfully at the memories.

“Alright, fine. Can we just agree that we both enjoyed it?”, Theo suggested, really not wanting to argue with his mate about what had happened between them.

The older man sighed.

“So what? Are you suggesting starting an affair with your best _male_ friend who, just to remind you again, is in love with you and whom _you_ told you’re _not_ gay?”, Adam summarised what the singer had more or less just offered.

“Well, I’m not gay.”, Theo mumbled.

“Bisexual it is then?”, Adam offered.

The singer shortly bit his lip before he shook his head.

“I’m not really into men. There’s just something about you…”, Theo mumbled and looked at his friend for a moment.

“I’m Adam-sexual”, he chuckled.

“You’re a moron.”, the pianist gave back, not feeling jokingly in the slightest, which made the other grin.

“Good morning by the way.”, the younger man mumbled in an adorably sweet tone, leaned closer to the guitarist and tried to peck him on the mouth.

A slight blush crept up the older one’s cheeks as he held the singer at a distance with his hands and turned his head away from him, out of kissing distance.

“Theo, don’t. I stink.”, he muttered embarrassed.

As he glanced up at the younger one, he almost thought that he had seen slight hurt on the other’s face but it was gone in the next second, a smile gracing his lips. He had probably just imagined it.

“Well, you could really use a shower. Shame you didn’t wake up earlier, so we could’ve taken one together.”, the singer smirked and wiggled his brows.

“God, you’re unbelievable.”, Adam muttered and slightly smacked his friend’s arm which only resulted in said one grinning broadly.

+++

Adam sat at the table, opposite to Theo and couldn’t focus on anything other than the night he had spent with his mate. All he could think of were those dark and lustful eyes he had seen the night before. Those tender and loving touches, heated kisses and oh god the sounds the other had made. Sounds _he_ had made come out of those delicious lips.

Adam felt his trousers getting uncomfortable which surely was no wonder considering his trail of thoughts. God. He wanted the other. He wanted him right now and right here. He regretted that he hadn’t let Theo kiss him before. He could’ve just grabbed him and kissed him senseless but no he freaked out because he had been covered in sweat and didn’t want to disgust the other with his morning breath. Adam was sure the younger man wouldn’t want to do that again now. It had probably just been the last remains of lust from the night before.

“What’s up?”, Theo suddenly asked while chewing a piece of toast, as he saw his friend being lost in thoughts.

“Nothing.”, the pianist quickly replied.

Too quickly, apparently.

“Come on, I see there’s something bothering you.”, the younger one inquired.

Adam sighed.

“It’s just… You claim you’re neither gay nor bisexual and it’s not like I got much experience in that myself but… it didn’t seem like you didn’t know what to do.”, he eventually said.  

The singer shrugged and took a sip of his coffee.

“Well, I had some practice, you know. Tried things out. You didn’t seem too inexperienced yourself though. How come? Had some male shags as well?”, Theo asked casually and took another bite of his toast.

The other man seemed rather uncomfortable at that question though, a slight blush creeping up his cheeks, as he quickly turned his gaze away from the younger one and to his plate instead.

He eventually cleared his throat before he muttered, “No. Uh… I never went that far with a guy.”

“So I was your first?”, Theo asked.

“In this matter… yeah.”, Adam admitted which resulted in the other smiling at him.

“There’s no need to be smug about it though.”, the pianist quickly said as he saw the other grin.

“I’m not.”, the singer replied honestly.

“I’m just glad I could share that experience with you.”, he stated sincerely.

“So how did you like it?”, Theo asked casually.

No fucking way. Adam would surely not talk with his best friend on whom he had a huge crush and who didn’t feel the same way about him but somehow ended up sleeping with him anyway about his first bed experiences with a man who was on top of that the man of his desire.

“No, Theo! Forget it, I’m not talking about last night with you.”, Adam said and felt his face heat up in an instant.

“Why not?”, the younger man asked. “That bad?”, he added.

“No! God, no.”, the pianist groaned.

“So what’s the problem then?”, Theo asked, seeming a little confused.

“God. Come on Theo, honestly. Isn’t this awkward for you? Are you really that okay with what happened?”, he asked, not believing that the singer didn’t seem to be even a tad uncomfortable about it.

“Sure. Why wouldn’t I be?”, the other replied and shrugged.

“Well, I don’t know. Maybe because we’re best friends?!”, Adam replied disbelievingly.

“So?”, Theo asked, not seeming to see the problem.

Adam just stared at his mate for a moment in silence.

“I don’t get you.”, the guitarist mumbled then and lowered his gaze as he shook his head, looking at his untouched food in front of him.

Thus, he didn’t notice the almost concerned seeming look Theo sent him.

+++

Adam’d love to say that he wasn’t that dumb and didn’t agree to having a purely sexual affair with his crush but how was he supposed to say no when this was the closest he could get to being with Theo? He had managed to resist him at first but of course, too much alcohol eventually got them too close again. It started out with kissing but surely soon lead to more again and in the end they occasionally spent their nights together.

Anyway, the few months of holiday they had had between the tour and the summer shows were over now and Adam wasn’t quite sure how this thing they had would go on. Maybe they had just spent too much time together and now that they were playing shows again, everything would go back to the way it had been before that night he got weak. Admittedly, they could never go back to normal, therefore too much has happened between them. He could just hope that he wouldn’t lose his best friend.

However, they were just getting ready to play another festival of the summer. The sound check went great and so everyone was in a phenomenal mood and couldn’t wait to go on stage. Pete and the rest of the band were already hanging around backstage, having some drinks and enjoying each other’s company after the break. Just Adam wasn’t there yet. A smile graced the singer’s lips as he walked down a corridor.

Theo sneaked into their dressing room and tiptoed over to the pianist who was just buttoning up his shirt while humming some random tune, his back turned towards the singer. As the younger man was close enough, he wrapped his arms around the other’s middle and pulled him against his chest.

“What the f-“, the guitarist started, but as he noticed that it was Theo, the last word got stuck in his throat.

“Theo”, he squealed nervously, his heart beat speeding up.

The other man hummed into his ear and started stroking the guitarist’s stomach, trailing lower.

“Wanna hang out after the show?”, the singer murmured into his friend’s ear.

This made a shiver run down Adam’s back in an instant. Of course he understood right away that _“Wanna hang out?”_ was just another term for _“Are you up for a shag?”_

“S-sure”, the pianist stuttered, not able to think straight.

“Alright”, Theo smiled.

“I’ll come by your room.”, the singer said as he let his hands fall down from the other man.

His chest was still aligned with the other’s back though, his head resting on the other’s shoulder. Suddenly one of his hands came up to the guitarist’s butt and gave his right cheek a firm squeeze. Adam jumped a bit in surprise and therefore heard the singer laugh before said one left the small room again.

Shit. Why the fuck did he even agree to the other’s suggestion in the first place? He knew that this wasn’t doing him any good. But it felt so good when the other was that affectionate towards him. And wasn’t it better that way instead of not having him at all?

+++

Adam was pacing in his room. He was nervous. Theo didn’t say when he’d come by exactly and this made the other even more nervous. Any minute he would hear the other knock onto the door and they’d sooner or later end up in bed again. He already felt himself getting hot at the thought of it.

It wasn’t too long until someone knocked onto his door. Adam quickly wiped his sweaty hands off on his trousers before he walked over to the door. He opened it and came face to face with Theo.

+++

Adam wanted to show the singer that he wasn’t as unexperienced with men as the other maybe thought. That he in fact very well knew how to please a guy. Thus, he turned them over while making out on the bed and straddled him. Theo looked up at him a bit surprised at first but didn’t mind the other taking control. In fact, he enjoyed Adam being the dominant one for a change.

The guitarist was thrilled that the other apparently let him do whatever he wanted and thus hurriedly undressed his mate, getting rid of every unnecessary piece of clothing.

In practically no time at all, he had the singer now lying underneath him, completely naked. He just couldn’t help but stare at the other’s slim and trained body. The previous times he had either been drunk as hell or way too nervous and overwhelmed by everything that he didn’t even catch a proper glance. Luckily, the singer didn’t say anything though or seemed to be embarrassed that Adam was eyeing him up like that.

However, he eventually tore his gaze away from his mate’s body and instead went up to press a longing kiss onto his friend’s mouth. As the singer responded immediately and wrapped his arms around the pianist’s neck, he felt his heart skipping a beat. He laced his fingers through the singer’s hair, slightly tugging and getting soft sighs from the man.

Anyway, Adam eventually tore himself away from the other’s tempting lips and kissed his way down the singer’s jaw and his throat and started placing soft kisses onto Theo’s upper body. He went lower and lower with every kiss, feeling the other draw in a breath as he got dangerously low.

Adam shortly looked up into the other’s face, seeing him look back at him with flushed cheeks. Then he moved his attention to the younger one’s groin again. He flickered out his tongue and drew a wet line along the singer’s hardening length before he took him in almost all the way, which resulted in a loud moan echoing through the room. 

He let his tongue glide over the singer’s tip, making the sweetest sounds leave the other’s lips. Theo had moved his hands into the older man’s hair, massaging his head and eventually tugging slightly in desperation. He needed release.

“God, Adammm… hngg”, the singer moaned as the pianist started sucking harder.

Adam brought his hands into the game as well and started stroking the other’s member while his mouth took care of the tip.

The sweetest sounds along with various moans of his name left the younger man’s lips, which spurred Adam on even more.

It wasn’t too long, until the singer came into his mouth with a deep groan, his hips stuttering up.

“You definitely did this before.”, the singer stated with a smile, breathing heavily.

Adam just grinned at that and moved up to kiss the man on the mouth. He then pulled back a bit, still being very close to the other man and looked at him with dreamy eyes, a bright smile covering his lips. Theo’s usually perfectly styled hair was tousled, a few strands hanging loosely into his face, his cheeks flushed and some pearls of sweat running down from his forehead and along his neck.  

Sure enough, the pianist couldn’t help himself at that beautiful sight and leaned in once more to press a passionate kiss to his friend’s lips, making the younger one sigh softly.  He had to enjoy this as long as he could when he had the other straddled and letting him do as he pleased so willingly.

“God, you’re hot.”, he muttered absentmindedly against the singer’s lips.

At that he shortly felt the other stiffen slightly and realised what he had just said. He had gotten so caught up, he forgot that they weren’t actually a couple and that the other didn’t reciprocated his feelings, so telling him how hot he was probably made the other pretty uncomfortable.

“I- I mean- I didn’t-“, he started to stutter, sat up and brought some distance between them before he dared to look up at his friend.

Theo sat up as well with a smile though, stretched his head a bit forward and pecked him on the mouth.

“You’re not too bad looking yourself.”, the singer said which resulted in the guitarist blushing.

“I’m not too much a fan of your clothes though.”, Theo continued, looking at said pieces of fabric the other was wearing.

Adam looked down at himself a bit confused. He was wearing a black t-shirt and black trousers. What was wrong with that? Theo’s next words cleared up his confusion though.

“I prefer you without.”, the singer said with a grin.

+++

Usually Theo would leave right after the act with a short “See you tomorrow”, or a simple “Bye”. But very rarely he stayed for the night. And those were the moments Adam was the happiest. The singer would wrap his arms around him and hold him close, randomly plant kisses onto his back or all over his face and neck, leaving out the lips every time though. The guitarist didn’t even notice this habit, since he was just happy to be close to Theo without having sex. It wasn’t as if he didn’t enjoy being intimate with Theo, not at all. But having the other close even after they had had sex made his heart flutter every time. Therefore, he gladly welcomed those actions and they’d fall asleep cuddled together.

The next day all of that seemed to be forgotten though. After all, he wasn’t in a relationship with Theo and he would never be. That reality hit him hard every time he saw the singer dancing with pretty women at clubs or just being his flirty self around every female he met. That also applied to meeting fans after the concert. Adam usually went out first, so he wouldn’t have to bear all of this.

He was then sitting in the bus, looking out of the window, when some girls spotted the singer coming out of the venue and hence started screaming and stormed towards said one. Adam couldn’t help but wince at the thought that every single girl out there had more of a chance of coming together with Theo than he had.

The hardest thing for him was though, when Theo took one of his flirts with him to his hotel room and therefore had no time, or well rather use, for Adam. The guitarist didn’t want to be that jealous but he just couldn’t help it. After all, his friend almost acted as if they were a couple when the two of them were alone.

Lately he even started randomly touching him in public. Giving him a pat on the ass when no one was looking. Quickly pecking him on the cheek, when they hugged before a show or even wrapping his arms around him and hugging him longer than usually, squeezing him tightly. It were those little things that probably didn’t mean that much to the younger man, but made Adam’s heart skip a beat every time.

However, if Theo did stay the night in the guitarist’s room, he was usually gone in the morning and Adam would wake up alone. He then was never quite sure, if the previous night had actually happened or if it had just been a dream.

But this morning the pianist woke up and still felt the other’s arm wrapped around him, his warm breath tickling his neck. The guitarist opened his eyes. It was already slightly lightish inside the room, so it couldn’t be night anymore.

Adam carefully turned his head and looked into Theo’s peaceful sleeping face. The Pianist took a glance at the clock under the tv. It was 6:30 am. He then looked back into the singer’s face and had to smile. Adam slowly turned around, so he was now facing him and snuggled close. It probably wouldn’t be too long until the other would wake up and leave, so he tried to enjoy being this close to his friend as long as he could.

The guitarist didn’t know how much time had passed. He just lay there with his eyes closed, not wanting to fall asleep to really enjoy hugging his friend close to him. But when he suddenly felt a soft kiss pressed to his mouth, he opened his eyes in a flash. That action apparently came totally surprising to the other man though, since said one flinched visibly.

“You’re awake?!”, the singer shrieked, let go of him and sat up in a flash as if he had gotten burned or something.

Now the guitarist was totally confused.

“Uh… Well, yeah. For quite a while actually.”, he admitted and blushed slightly.

“What’s the time?”, Theo asked and avoided looking at him, seemingly uncomfortable.

Adam leaned up on his arms and stretched his neck a bit, so he could look at the red digits under the television once more.

“Almost seven”, he muttered.

“Why? What is it? Why are you freaking out?”, the pianist asked.

“Fuck. Nothing. It’s nothing.”, Theo quickly mumbled.

+++

Theo was embarrassed that his friend got aware of him kissing him. When they spent the night together, he always pecked his sleeping friend on the lips, before he quickly got dressed and left early in the morning. It had become a habit. But today he had obviously overslept. Damn.

The singer quickly got off the bed, searched for his clothes and fastly put on every piece he found laying around on the floor. As he was fully dressed, he shortly looked at his mate who was still sitting on the bed with a confused expression and left the room without saying another word.

You would think that it was nothing special, since they had kissed plenty of times already. But this time was different. They usually just kissed when being intimate. Theo had always avoided kissing the pianist at other occasions even when he would’ve loved to but he couldn’t give in to that urge. He couldn’t risk falling for the other. That might ruin everything. Maybe they should just stop whatever it was they were having before it was too late. But he didn’t want to stop. He craved Adam. Fuck.


End file.
